1:05 am

A conversation with myself

I run and I run and I forget and I don’t write and I don’t write because I feel empty and distracted. Distracted trying to fill a void a void I always try to fill as if I’m scared of the dark. You say you’re using me and I let you but I love you and I will never admit it. I don’t love you I love that you fill the void. The void. I have no night light and I’m stumbling in the dark to see. I lay down in the void now it’s calm and peaceful and everything is okay. See? The darkness is just an interlude like the seasons changing. An in between, a record scratch, being inside an elevator, waiting for the water to boil. Don’t be scared of the dark baby don’t let anyone use you. You tell me you’re being nice but I don’t want you to be nice I want you to tell me you need me. I love you when you need me it reminds me I’m alive. I’m alive I’m filling the void I’m sitting in the void. Sitting, breathing, relaxing. Summer is over and I don’t love you.