decisions, decisions

I’ve been dealing with some indecisiveness this week, some inability to trust my gut feelings, and some anxiety stemming from that.

A question I find myself asking often is “How do you know when to trust your gut or when to face discomfort for growth?”

That seems to be a question that shows up all the time, as we humans are constantly faced with two paved roads going in different directions into pitch black darkness, with the option to choose. Choosing is fantastic, it’s something I’m grateful for often. The ability to choose, to have (some) control of my life, to decide my own fate as much as life will let me. But with the ability to choose, comes the unknowns, the self doubts, the self questioning. We don’t really know what’s down either path. We can dream, manifest, visualize, and work hard to plan out the ideal path but ultimately the roads have unprepared twists and turns out of our control. So when faced with making a decision, “Should I go to New York? Should I move? Should I break up with him? Should I quit my job?” We are left with open ended questions and what if’s that can be debilitating. What if you make the wrong choice? What if you regret your decision? What if it didn’t work out as you planned? Sometimes (most of the time) there’s others involved too…An intricate weaving of plans, responsibilities, and expectations…

And another question, is it better to be safe and know more or be uncomfortable and fling into the unknown? I’m somewhere those right now.

So what do we do? What do I do?

I think one thing that’s helping me is to not attach to outcomes. To be still, to check in with my gut reactions to all the options and then send it down either road with the knowing that my decision will lead me to goodness. And if it doesn’t, I will figure it out and it’ll be a lesson if anything. Attaching to anything in life isn’t great because of how fleeting, mortal, and chaotic life is. Life is meant to be lived. Decisions are meant to be made. It’s an act of self love to trust yourself, even if you have to fake it a bit till you make it.

Gut feelings are guardian angels and decisions are both portals and lessons.

Also, a pros and cons list.