holidays
this is my first time being alone during christmas time since i was little. no santa, no christmas cookies, no presents under the tree, no watching elf in bed, no last minute christmas shopping.
the streets of los angeles are nearly empty,
and i listen to the same playlist on repeat while waiting for red lights to turn green
it’s almost wrong to have no family in the only place you’ve ever called home.
i guess home is in me now
it’s in my body, my hands,
in my two cats who sleep on the foot of my bed.
it’s in my anti depressants in the cabinet
the target i frequent on sunset blvd.
in my shoes i leave by the door
home is eating cookie dough standing in front of the fridge on a lonely sunday afternoon


one of my favorite song lyrics ever is "how can you call it home if you can't take it with you?" from lena grove by eliza mclamb, this has the same energy xx
<3