infatuation
This is the longest I’ve been without being infatuated or in love in a long time. It feels wrong, because it’s unusual for me, but also very right. It’s interesting having the devil and angel on your shoulder; the devil of past experiences and expectations and the angel of intuition and presence. Going between the two is confusing and leaves me feeling scattered. Especially when I’ve always measured my levels of happiness and success with crushes and lust. Now the fulfillment is coming friendships and career success. Growth.
It does leave me with this openness, a lingering void and a question I’ve been asking myself often “what do I even want romantically?” Because I’ve been on dates and have lots of eligible suitors around me, but nothing is really hitting. Maybe my standards are higher or maybe it’s the universes way of telling me to take time away from boys until someone really comes and knocks my socks off. Maybe it’s teaching me patience. I’m listening to the angel as she talks sweetly in my ear.
Such stunning writing!
i love your writing sophia, there is always one line that hits me. I want to provide you with some constructive criticism…there is more to you than “boys”, “lust”, “coffee”, “nostalgia”. It makes you predictable. I challenge you to write something that has nothing to do with anything of that sort. I feel like your focus is so much on how boys view you. Don’t keep feeding the narrative. There’s more to you. You got this.