the juice

it’s 6:48pm

just 3 weeks ago it was still sunny out when i’d go for my walk, now it’s dusk and the moon is following me, creating broken shadows on the reservoir water. another summer has passed and changed my life. i am 10 pounds lighter, more unstable, and quieter than ever. as if the summer juiced, drained and pulverized me leaving just the dry fibrous pulp. i only seem to write when i’m sad and distraught because it’s out of survival but maybe i’ll try to write about some good things too. the juice.

(this summer made me realize a lot of big profound things that i haven’t put into words yet, but I will write about them soon. with pain comes sweetness, and lessons on self sufficiency and endurance).

okay, the juice. I just signed a lease today on an apartment with brick walls and big windows. pieces of my vision board. i have people that believe in me and sparks of creativity and inspiration that shine their light in the cave. the juice. i’ve made new friends and have relished old ones. i’ve stayed grateful and humble, i’ve let myself absorb rather than create. it was a summer of inward rather than outward. a summer of things coming at me, churning my stomach, spinning my head out of my control. a summer of survival.

fall is now for confidence and control. for the self reflection to transcend into self love and productivity. it’s for reaping what i’ve sewn and moving forward into the light with grace and fearlessness. it’s about reading more, saying more, creating more, watching more, reaching out more, trusting more. summer i simmered, fall i attack. i am being juiced again as a whole; fibrous being and juicy extras.