the weekly

notes from the week x

It’s Monday which is always promising. I have a sinus infection, a crush and a lot of ideas.

“Scrolling social media has no answers”. The answers are in 4 hour dinners with your friends and deli sandwiches and re reading your favorite books. They’re in long solo drives and phone calls with your mom and letters you never end up sending.

I think driving on country road would solve all my problems.

I hate that a crush makes me small. It turns me into a girl, twirling her hair, and biting at her nails. A rush similar to caffeine on an empty stomach. It consumes me, I succumb to it like a helpless baby deer. The fuel to the fire of life, it eats me alive and I let it.

I try to talk to God but I don’t think he’s listening. I don’t think he hears me screaming into the void of my car, or my hopeful affirmations I murmur in bed every morning. I don’t think he’s listening to my pleas for relief or a sign. He’s ignoring me, he’s teaching me a lesson, he’s telling me to…

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb”